Want a child who is responsible? Encourage an outdoor sport – indoors – like this mum did.

I watched helplessly as he bounced the tennis ball off my living room wall. We have changed ruined lampshades twice, already. It’s difficult to fault this little man who loves cricket, though… he’s indoors thanks to the pandemic.

When you have a partner who can see both points of view – who supports you and him – it can get even more confusing. The right thing to do gets a bit more elusive. He’s stuck indoors and needs an outlet. That’s the fact. He also is young and impressionable and needs to be given boundaries so he can practice responsibility.

So should I let him practice cricket or responsibility?

I’m preparing him for tomorrow, after all. And he can’t go around playing cricket in other people’s living rooms. Hmm. But it’s allowed at grandma’s house. And at the aunt’s. And guess what? Mr. Dad is joining him in a few rounds of spin bowling. Help. Is he being a good dad or a bad role model?

This is really getting challenging.

Dad and son have broken switchboards and pots before. They clean up the mess together too. Together. There is father and son bonding happening, I tell myself. There’s nothing to beat that. But the sight of my pots broken makes me want to beat both father and son. Literally.

Suddenly, I pause… dead in my tracks of thought and it scares me. THIS is middle age. I am officially over-the-hill! I just proved it myself… for caring for pots. I care for plants. OMG. I’m the mean lady who takes away the ball so the kids can’t play. Gasp.

What have I become?!

All of these thoughts are so scary, that I react by smiling and cheering on the home wreckers. I don’t want to be the bad cop. Who does? I don’t want to be the disciplinarian. No sir. I want to be the streaker who runs across the field! Okay maybe not the streaker. That’s going too far. Let’s just say, I want to be the ‘Jarvo’ who is part of the fun on the field.

So today, I let the living-room-cricket slide.

Seconds later, the little man is back to boring – seated at his online class. The teacher is talking Maths, and through the blinders, this little rascal whispers to me– “Please bring me my workbook. I was working and left it on the couch.”

“No, I won’t! You should be responsible and get ready for the next class instead of bouncing balls off the walls!!” I hiss back. He slides back into his online world with a sad ‘okay’.

My heart strings tug and I bring him the book he wants. He grins merrily with hardly a show of surprise.

“Oh. My. Gosh. Did he expect me to?!!” I think to myself, really irritated at the idea. I’ve got to read up on responsibility and how I can build that life skill in this pre-teen.

So I do. Teaching responsibility, say the experts, is best done easy. The best spaces are group activities – a sport, a music team, an organised club/group. Sounds wonderful and simple, while being effective. Doubly so, because I can outsource it. I want to outsource this responsibility teaching. A very bad parenting thing to do. I know. Am I glad I signed him up for cricket coaching a year ago!

And just to back things up at home in the responsibility training, I guess Mr. Dad and I can give him a chore around the house that he enjoys doing and can take responsibility for. He does like laying the table for dinner. That can be a thing!

Now excuse me while I turn into the middle-aged lady and take away my plants from the living room. Just. Can’t. Help. Myself.