Yes! Apparently babies speak a universal language. I listened in, was convinced… Oprah was too.

This learning comes three babies too late for me.  But it’s so astounding that every mother should know it. Heck, every anyone should know it. I wish we could print flyers and give it out at street corners. It IS really that good. And I am really gushing. Yes.

You know how we wish babies would come with manuals? How we think they’re trying to say something but we have no idea what?! How their cries make us lose our mind, our self esteem and eventually our temper? Never shake or rough-up the baby? Hmm. Never wanted to admit that, did you? Here’s some good news. There IS a solution and thanks to Australian opera singer, Patricia Dunstan, we now have a manual.

You‘ve heard of ‘photographic memory’; this lady has a ‘phonographic’ memory. That means, she remembers sound. And when she became a new mum, she recognised the repetitive sounds her baby would make. If you’re not listening, it all sounds like a “waaaaa”; but thankfully she was.

She also listened to the build-up sounds to the “hysterical” cry (we all are very familiar with). Soon, she was able to decipher what each sound meant and voila! we have a secret a baby language – decoded.

If this is not super news, I don’t know what is!

Here’s the juice. Start listening to the sounds your baby makes.  Dunstan says that these “words” are sound reflexes they make with their mouth, and it is universal for babies around the world. Now the super part – there are five sounds. Only. No more burden on that sleep-deprived head.

Here they are.

neh – This means ‘hungry’. The sucking reflex produces that sound (try rubbing the tongue on the top of your mouth – this is the sound you will hear).  

owh – This is the sleepy sound. It comes from the yawn reflex. Look for an oval-shaped mouth too.

heh – is certain discomfort. It’s similar to ‘neh’ but instead of the long ‘nn’ at the start, listen out for the ‘hhh’ part at the start. This is the time to check if the baby is hot or cold, in an uncomfortable position, or if they need a change of diaper. I read somewhere to check for stray hair tightening around baby’s toes too. Ouch!

eair – This is the cool way to say “I have lower gas”. Imagine breathing in and putting pressure on your lower stomach. See? It’s a lower sound with more of an ‘aaaa’. Very relatable even if you’re older!

eh – This is ‘burp me’. The reflex is for an air bubble in the chest. The baby is using the reflex to get it out. Listen for the first ‘ehh’ part.

And that is all. No need to make a checklist of ‘100 Things to Do When The Baby’s Crying’ and go through them, step-by-step. No need to think you’re a bad parent, or that you’re hopeless at parenting.

If you can catch these sounds in the first 0-3 months and respond to them, the baby will likely keep up the language. The only way to do it is listen hard and notice. Videos are online to sound you out on what the ‘neh’, ‘heh’ and ‘eh’ sound like, typically.

And once you’ve figured out the sound of it, Daddy and Mum can both respond equally (YAY!) since only one of five sounds really require mum to be physically present. Sleep for all.

Sounds like music to the ears? Somebody shout an ‘amen’!

This column was first published in the Bangalore Mirror in September 2016