No. It’s probably the hardest thing you’ve ever done. But you can get through it.

As I write this intro, I’m actually gnashing my teeth. The ‘hardest thing’? Is it? It sure seems hard right now. But is it the hardest? I’m not sure. 

On the surface it seems simple. You are HOME. You can chill. You have lots of food. Food, shelter, clothing. Basic. I’m addressing, of course, privileged folk here. The real world gets to read a different column. 

Things seem comfortable. And our big problem still is, that things are uncertain and we don’t know if we’ll still  have our jobs, or the salary we’re used to, or the comforts. It appears we need control over circumstances to indeed live well. We need the predictability (that we were running away from just weeks ago) that keeps everything in check.

And for some of us, that was restored last week when schools started online classes. Others start in June. Some normalcy is/will be back. Our children will be in control. Ah!

I’m totally against classes of all kinds at this time. I had hoped that we would teach life skills knowing now, beyond doubt, how important they are. Plus, life skills are easy on everyone. And so crucial. Please notice how the survivors of physical and mental health in this time have been the ones WHO CAN COOK! Can clean? Even better. Can cook? Amazing! Can cut hair? WOW! Can cook? You are the best!

Teach your child to cook. I’ve taught my son to make coffee, and my daughter to make tea *insert emoji with sunglasses*. The other daughter makes dessert. This is why I had three children. And for those of you who ridicule parents of three, or call them stupid, look who’s got coffee, tea and dessert now. Huh?

Okay but seriously, it’s been weird. Beneath the normal functioning of a home, I have struggled. I have even reached a day where I flat-out do not want to do anything. I don’t want to do the pending work I have. I’m not interested in reading messages on my phone. I don’t even want to get out of bed, honestly. This isn’t normal. For me. 

And the only thing I’ve been willing to do is talk to people. My friends who have been on the other end of the phone on such days – thank you.

Thank you for telling me that it’s okay. Thank you for not sending me another webinar invite. Thank you for not posting food pictures. Thank you for calling me out for ‘doing’ and not just ‘being’. I thank God for you.

This post is in the interest of honest parenting. I wrote it today so that you would know that parenting columnists have awful days too. And lately, often.

How am I getting through it? I’m allowing myself to take the time to introspect. I’m allowing myself time to mull and just stare into leaves for an hour, if I want to. I’m allowing my children to eat instant noodles for dinner instead of a from-scratch meal. And how they love me for it. 

I don’t get this much love when I do a killer version of a crappy, happy meal – toy included! Sigh. 

I’m also trying to meditate on truths. Absolute truths. That has been transformational.

On occasion, I eat in bed, wear my hair messy all day, pot around with plants and propagate every small bit of green life I see, and paint my nails. I also call my parents daily and ask about them instead of telling them all about my busy day.  My calendar that was my life seems so stupid today. 

It’s not the hardest thing. Even the children know that.