A ready-reckoner to picking a holiday spot for trips with kids that will leave you soothed. Aren’t you tired of holidays that make you want to get home to rest?

Is there anything to talk about other than Bangalore’s heat? Correct. So like good Bangaloreans, we ditched the air-conditioning and drove to the hills. As we started the incline, my little boy shrieked, “Hey, the AC is on. Close your windows, everybody!” It was true. The gust of cool air hit, even as we drove up.

What followed was a week of relaxation, a few lessons and walking around in socks and jumpers. Yes, picture that! The children lost no time in finding entertainment and wonder in a leaf, a puppy, a dew drop. Our teen too, found a horse to marvel at (and eventually groom), a microwave cake to bake in a cup. But without wifi, Dad and I… well, we discovered the joy of sleep! For the first few hours, anyway.

And while we drifted in and out of it, we heard the kids teaching each other chess – a game neither of us can play (Yes, we’re shallow like that). Then, challenging ourselves to ‘no agenda’, we began to explore the outdoors, the green, hilly spaces (realised how unfit I am), and enjoy uninterrupted conversation. As the kids trickled down to where we were, questions about mist, sunrise, north and south, water and ecology arose. Dad answered a few, and I did too. This must be what homeschooling is like, I thought to myself. And that day, just for that day, it didn’t seem daunting.

All through the trip, it was thrilling to connect. Like really connect. Though I’m home with the children every evening, there were so many things about them, I didn’t know. Like the fact that two of the three of them, play chess, or that Miss Antifood will eat a FULL English breakfast if there is corned *beep* on the table. Or, that my five-year-old’s new favourite word is ‘loser’ (gasp!).

While I was dreaming, I remembered something I’d read about relationships thriving under “carefree timelessness”. I’d always suspected that ‘quality time’ was nonsense; restricted, and one-sided. “I have decided that I will spend this time with you to build a relationship (and you will now cooperate)”. Smells a bit off.

But ‘timelessness’ is delicious. It’s vulnerable, it’s carefree. It’s saying “I have no agenda other than hanging out and I don’t care for time”. Magic can unfold there. Think back. Some of the tightest relationships we develop come to life in this climate of timelessness. Your closest relationships need this as often as possible. I’m hopeful enough to think I’d like to do this every Sunday!

So my tips for a good family holiday are 5-point.

1. Close by. While we believe the travel is part of the holiday, small kids can get worn out (read start acting out) if the destination is too long in coming.
2. No wifi. You know, just to ensure that Mum and Dad get to chill out (get involved).
3. Green. Nothing heals like nature. Kids need the therapy too.
4. Spaciousness. Just looking far into the distance was soothing. We’re so used to city viewing and our vision being blocked by walls and people. Looking across to the next mountain was BLISS.
5. No “sight-seeing”. Take a stand! Or pick one every two days. Look at your spouse instead. That’s plenty of sight to see.

And now to throw those socks and jumpers into cold storage; till we head back to Coolville again.

This column was first published in the Bangalore Mirror 18th April 2016